Had about 1,000 good moments yesterday. Feeling so much better about this year ahead and its challenges. S and I mapped out the solar systems we intend to navigate, and spun ourselves into a tizzy about life and its possibilities.
Two days ago, I wrote something for a blog, and then abandoned it. It was this:
[It's vacation time. Challenge = stay on vacation. I've had 5 days off now, and have 4 to go. I think my Restless Leg Syndrome has been mis-diagnosed. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've got Restless Everything Syndrome. For some reason, every evening my legs fill up with ants and it is absolutely intolerable to lie still. Drives me mad - always lasts till the morning. I'm noticing a parallel sensation in my head during the day... I think it's the same ants! How did they get in there and how long have they been there?
My producer has been away for almost a month now, so I feel funnily on-pause with the album. I get squirmy all over with the feeling that I ought to be doing something. What the ants do is go marching all around collecting crumbs of guilt to bring back to the Queen, in the brain. They've built a crumb-castle in there, and it's a burdensome weight of evidence that I am making a mess.]
But that was a couple days ago. I do struggle with needing to feel productive. Not churning out much music right now - piano sitting right there. But I don't play it right now cause I don't need to - feeling so good being outside in the sun. Head full of music but not anything that I would grasp at and want to write down. More on this later maybe... I have a busy day of TCB ahead.
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