the good earth

What a gorgeous morning... the grass outside is all fuzzy and wet and shiny, like a deer's coat. The ocean is kind of glowing with warm mist, and the sun is coming in sideways through trees and making long streaking shadows across the yard. Maple trees are amber, and the pines are blue-grey and look moist and heavy. I wasn't expecting sunshine this morning... the weather forecast had shown pictures of dark rainclouds for 7 consecutive days. I like that nobody can predict these little pockets of relief, and the sudden rainbows that appear in a dark sky, and the patches of deep blue opening up like big eyes. I like that we really are so hopelessly out of control when it comes to our environment.
I grabbed a book off the shelf this morning, and am happy with my random choice. Pearl S. Buck, "The Good Earth." Beautiful so far. I'm on a bit of a historical/period fiction kind of roll... I find it so much more interesting than reading about a book set in the present. I watched "There Will Be Blood" last night - and it was an interesting follow up to "East of Eden." Same country, same era, but a very different scene. Stunning film - disturbing in the best kind of way. Greed and emptiness, regret and pride.
I'm really glad I remembered to start the meditation back up. I've tried to practice mindfulness in the car, sitting here and there, walking, but without the anchor of having a sitting practice in the morning, I don't find it very effective. My cushion, my meditation bench, act like a trigger to my body - it's a physical cue to bring the attention in to the breath. And right away I feel the weight of whatever's on my chest, am suddenly aware of it underneath the nattering thoughts. Even if all I do for the whole 30 minutes is notice I've gone off into planning and thinking, and bring my attention back, over and over again, I know it's doing something good for me. Even when I fall asleep. Ha ha.
So I'm off to do that now, and then I'll go outside and maybe will be more present because of it. We'll see. I really want to smell that air today.

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