100% happy today, right from the start. A surprise day off, and brilliant morning light to make me just leap out of bed. Walked down to the ferry, happy as a clam in mud. It just feels right to be outside in a summer dress- lots of air around the skin... and today, with comfy old flip flops and a satchel with a book, a journal, a pen and a sweater. Equipped for life! Took the boat in to meet an old friend for lunch at Granville Island. Had such a great visit, then had just enough time to grab some fruit at the market and hop the water taxi back home. Ah, the life! Had a beautiful ride and thought about how stupidly lucky I am. Then filled the rest of the afternoon with walking.
Life is rich, friends. When my head is clear of the self-absorption rubble, life is so rich. It's all the little things that make it so sweet and good. Like being able to strike up conversation with a nice young guy sitting beside me on the boat, instead of staring out the window in isolation. (He asked me where my accent was from. "My accent?!" And then we had a good laugh when I confessed it might have something to do with all the old poetry I've been reciting.)
...and then saying 'goodbye stranger' and letting that be that. Then realizing on the walk home that my bag was dripping peach juice and that some of the fruit wasn't going to last the journey. Had to stop and slurp up some gooshey peach before continuing on.
... and then encountering 3 little girls in front of their yard, holding a sign that said, "Please give us money." Asking what was up, I was told, "We're collecting money or bunnies." I apologized for having no bunnies to spare, and gave them the 34 cents I had on me. "There, you've cleaned me out," I said, showing them my empty wallet. The youngest girl said, "Oh... well, you can have some back!"
Yep, this is the sweetness of life. Little things. Why it is, exactly, that some days I catch these things in my net, and other days do not, I just don't know. Guess it's all practice at being present, and I guess it's also just balance. Those three hard days earlier this week had me in a different place, with abstract and far off worries, monsters that don't exist, a dullness instead of richness. Tried to just be present with that too, but it's not easy, and I don't have much patience. So anyhow, thankful for a great day, and thankful for a bit more sunshine. Dammit, summer, don't leave!
I have to also recap a bit of my conversation with my friend at lunch. She's more than a friend, this woman - she was a really inspiring and important English teacher of mine from high school. I'm so glad we've kept in touch. She still has a knack for planting questions and ideas that lead me down interesting paths of thought. We were talking about gifts, the gifts that people are given at birth, I mean. She summed it up by saying we each have a "moral imperative" to use our gifts to give back to the world. I like that. We're counting on each other to use these gifts and to do what others can't do. Simple as that. Too bad school (and society) doesn't nurture individuality a bit more. Too bad we're always being squished, or are squishing ourselves, into molds that just aren't right for us. I've spent a fair bit of time playing roles I was good at, but that left me with a painful, nagging hole. Finally realized that if I don't put my energy into making my own music, then there will be an empty well where there should be a full one. There's nobody else that can make my music, but lots of people who could replace me in those other jobs I was doing. So, there it is: Do or die: the moral, Mortal imperative!
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