So much for the note to self - that topic is something I'm always ready to talk about, but taking time to write about it feels like a big undertaking. Lots to say about aloneness and loneliness. Another time.
Happy with outcome of FNC last night. Enjoyed the show, though the music didn't give me much. Just kind of a sugary niceness which is fine, good sometimes. The musician I went to see is a lovely person; I don't know her well but her sweetness reads loud and clear. I'm glad I went to support her, was glad to notice I didn't feel that bothered, being out of my scene. I usually find it really hard to be in a big excited crowd when I'm not feeling any excitement. It's depressing and alienating, and way too familiar. But it was okay last night - I still kind of just shake my head at what seems to get people going. But that's just how it is.
When it comes to listening, I'm not a hard critic. I try to give everything my best shot, but my attention wavers if the music doesn't compel my senses. I don't try to analyze what's going on; I don't follow form/chord structure/themes etc. The music just compels me or it doesn't, moves me a little or a lot or not at all. If I'm not drawn right into a performance, then I'm always in danger of drifting into fantasy. My eyes tend to glaze, and I start writing a show. My fingers feel twitchy; I get achingly restless to find a piano; even when I'm half-listening, I'm half-composing something completely different, to fill the gap of what I want to hear. I also feel jealous... not of the performer or performance, but of the piano. Like last night: she wasn't loving that piano. She had no connection to it, was just pressing down the keys. I start to get jealous, want to take over, give the instrument some real romance. Maybe that's weird. When you're a pianist, you're always meeting new pianos, trying to have an intimate dance with a stranger. You've gotta LOVE it, man, or just back off.
I was thinking about her voice, too. The band was so driving that her singing was just a vehicle for a melody and some hooky lyrics. Too bad, cause she knows how to get some nice colours out of her instrument. Note to self: be careful with the chest voice. Don't overuse it, and make sure it's not just about belting. Sounds way too generic. Need to find some strategies for avoiding that blown-out wash of sound that you so often get with an amplified show.
Been thinking a lot about the next album/s. So looking forward to moving on. Think I ought to document the music I've written in the last couple of years. There's a fair bit, and only one of the pieces is on the album. The rest is from 2008 and earlier. On my to-do list: book a couple of all-night studio sessions for a couple of months from now. Make a track list, polish the music a bit, then record them and move on. Lots of fragments and ideas haunting me.
Also on my to-do list: install my keyboard someplace accessible - find a room in someone's house or something - so I can play/write on my city days. I'm finding it really tough to get any time alone at the piano. It's nobody's fault - I just can't write when there's anyone around, and there are almost always people around at home. So, strategies in the works.
Speaking of strategies. I know I mentioned a project I'm excited about... and this too is a bit of an undertaking. It involves personally contacting each of the 2 dozen or so artists who have influenced and inspired me throughout my life. By post. I know it doesn't sound like much. But each one is going to be a handmade package with a personal letter of gratitude and a CD. Just cause it feels right to do, and I've always wanted to do it. I've started tracking down addresses (not easy) to send all my mail to. I'm pretty stoked. I think it's quite likely that Leonard Cohen and I will become fast friends. Or at least pen pals.
..
No comments:
Post a Comment