dogma flippers

Had my last morning with my brother, his wife and baby. The usual nearly broken heart, saying goodbye after 3 short days of basking in Baby's total radiance. 3 sweet days.
Had lunch in town with friends, then subjected myself to an intense but short and focused shopping trip: flippers, snorkel, mask, waterproof diving pouch for keys and wallet, a sunshirt so I don't scorch my back while snorkeling, sandals, a tiny umbrella, a collection of Steinbeck short novels, some Hemingway, a bag of apples and oranges. I got in and out quickly, but even so... it's a bit of a horror show out there. Humans at their greediest, rudest, most impatient. Boxing week is just depressing beyond belief. I'm not depressed, hurray, thank God, but still very aware of the pitiful hollowness that balloons after the big anticlimax of Christmas Day. So many people looking over-sated, apathetic, disappointed... am I just projecting this? I sat waiting for the bus, and a homeless man came up to me and asked, after a lengthy preamble, if I'd give him some money. I offered him my apples and oranges, and he turned them down politely and moved on. I watched as every other person shook their heads at him coldly before he could even start his spiel; a man behind me cracked an ignorant joke. Mm, the radiant spirit of Christmas. I walk by many beggars on the street, and do nothing to help - it feels awful and I hate it. But if I am approached by anyone who has something to say, I will listen. Can't we at least afford each other that much respect? How quickly people must lose their faith in mankind, when they are treated like criminals, like dogs, ignored and waved away. There's a girl who comes by that bus stop often. She's homeless, smells and looks terrible, has rotten teeth, sores all over her face, glassy eyes... I gave her some money once, so she always tries me for a handout. She looks disappointed if I say no, but will sit and talk to me for a while, and I just would like to take her home, bathe and feed her, give her a soft bed and clean clothes, take her to the dentist and the doctor, give her a job, say, with horses, surround her with kind people, give her a bloody chance. I don't follow any religion and have mixed feelings about any kind of dogma, but I really think that we are painfully lacking in spirituality, even basic ethical code. Any kind of belief in a power 'greater than oneself' tends to make people feel more connected to each other, maybe even be more concerned for each other's welfare. The absence of it makes these de-religionized holidays so bizarrely satirical, at least in these bull-fighting arenas of super-sale-blowouts and frantic gift exchanges...

.