rue the day

Oh infuriating humans - can you please be people?! Have some consideration for others, for the love of God!

It's so frustrating when your best intentions are out there, hovering in the air, and the recipients just ignore them, or bat them away.
You can shape your life, you can carve your path, but you can't do it by making people give you what you want. That's the only rule in this game. You can use whatever methods you can dream up, but you can't control people.
I've been reflecting on this because it's so easy to blame other people for setbacks. Somebody doesn't return an email, or a phone call, somebody has forgotten that they promised such-and-such, somebody else has changed their mind, somebody else again has given a false impression, etc. It is utterly impossible to rely on other people to move you forward.
It's a tough lesson to learn. As a sensitive person who worries too much about what others think, it's hard not to take even small disappointments personally.
The instinct is to give. But every now and again there's this whiplash of wanting to get something back. Which defeats the whole purpose of selfless giving, turns it into the beginnings of manipulation. I can feel this tug and it does not feel good. It's a whiny, weak, greedy voice. And it makes me irritable to feel it there, because I know it's a set-up. I know how futile it is to expect people to change and I know that the only thing in this entire universe that I have control over is my own attitude and outlook on life. But it really is a hard lesson to learn.

..