Monday, August 29, 2011

spirals

I did not pick up all the plums, and I did not write a better blog that evening. Oh well. Life!

A picture from one of my walks in the meadow several weeks ago.

Right now I'm working, again, on the classical music mix. It's a long process. Much careful deliberation, much listening and considering. Listening to Faure piano quartets right now, trying to decide between the Scherzos from no. 1 op. 15, and no. 2 op. 45.
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In the end, I think I'll go with the Adagio non troppo from no. 2 instead! Wow, I really need to spend more time listening to Faure's chamber music. Rich, sensual stuff.
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While listening, I look through some photos that have been sitting on my camera's memory card. Here are a couple:

My office during the festival. (Wall to wall in lutes.)

Pigeons on a bus shelter.

Now that the festival is over and I've had a week off, I've started to ease back into my own routine. It feels so good to be able to shift my focus back to my own interests and ambitions. I've been thinking a lot about various aspects of my life, and new priorities are coming to the surface. For example, I am downright tired of running to and fro the city. I don't want to do it anymore. The city and I have slowly been drifting farther and farther apart. The lifestyle I want is here, on this island (or perhaps another island), and it's simpler, less complicated and harrying, but richer in nature and creativity. It involves more meaningful connections with people, more time for music, more time outside, and a sense of space. I've been working on a daily routine, which I know sounds like old news because I'm always doing this, but I feel like I've hit upon something crucial. The underlying revelation is this: Writing/practicing music everyday is essential. I've been trying to force myself to do this in the evenings, after work, and always feel guilty and regretful because more often than not, I don't feel up for it. But here is the rub: I don't WANT to do any work in the evenings. I'm lazy and lethargic and want to relax and read and PLAY in the evenings, and that's OK. My energy is brightest in the morning, and that's when I should be doing music. I'm fresh and excited and optimistic when I first wake up, and if I get up early enough, there's plenty of time to delve into composition before work. Then when I get home, I can just enjoy the evenings without any sense of obligation. (I know this does not sound like rocket science, but one does not always see the forest for the trees.)
A few other notes about my life right now:
-I just booked my plane ticket to Barbados for January through March. Whoooo-eee-ooo!
-I'm going to propose to my bosses that I only work 1-2 days a week in town, and the rest at home. This ties into the new model for living that I'm trying to build.
-I have been contemplating sort kind of counselling role. Going back to school? Volunteering? Maybe just teaching. More about this later.
-I want to take voice lessons again, but with a teacher who has an Alexander Technique approach. I am missing using my voice that way.
And...
I am in love.
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