time

frost flower in the woods

Glad to be on this side of Christmas. A certain tension has gone out of the air.
Just came in from a walk in the rain. Not many signs of life out there to be seen, at least with my eyes. Fog and darkness, rain and shadows.
I get to spend more time on Bowen now than ever before. Five days a week on the island, just two in the city. It feels so good. The pressure to do... well, a thousand things... has left me. I am aware of wanting to enjoy my life, and I do. I really do.
Everyday I do some combination of work. Working on my music, working for my job, working on the house. I have enough work to do (there is always work to do) and it's fulfilling, and it doesn't feel overwhelming very often. I just feel tired, mentally and physically, but it's a fatigue with satisfaction. And still there is time to walk every day, to sit by the lake, to stop in the deep woods. There is time to lie beside the fire and read. Time to make good food and enjoy it. Time to think about big things. Time to sit with those thoughts, meditate, look out the window, remember my body and breath. Time to spend with people I love. And, I've just realized, time to blog again.
There's nothing to fix. Nothing to change. I will make no New Year's resolutions. Improvement won't begin on a certain day at a certain hour. Happiness won't be attained in the future. I'm happy right now.

..